Addicted To Procrastination

So I’ve heard this theory that people can become addicted to procrastination. Here’s a rough rundown of how it works:

  • Author-person establishes a deadline
  • Said person proceeds to do everything other than that which is productive toward the meeting of that deadline
  • deadline approaches
  • author gripes about deadline while watching tv
  • deadline sneaks closer
  • author panics and cleans the refrigerator and that awkward spot between the stove and the counter
  • author spends more time stressing than creating
  • Deadline smashes author in the face. In a panic-and-caffeine infused delirium, the author gets three hours of sleep a night until making the goal.
  • relief from meeting the deadline resembles euphoria.

Lack of initial discipline and misaligned priorities create this problem, but the resulting relief from escaping the deadline is like a near-death-experience. It’s addictive.

And laziness creates drama.

Instead of digging into why chapter six isn’t working, how about going for a beer with friends? We could delve deeper into the main character’s motivation, but wouldn’t we rather watch Anthony Hopkins’ newest monologue on West World?

The vicious cycle is completely, a hundred-percent curable, but it requires discipline. It means you gotta get your ass in the goddamn chair. It means that yes, writing is hard, but if you’re a writer, you already know that. Or, y’know, you could just quit. I mean, do the thingĀ or don’t, right?

I am totally lecturing myself right now.

And I’ll leave us with a few paraphrased thoughts:

One: greatness comes from doing small things the right way every day.

Two: baby better work-work-work-work.


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